The back story
I was an Engineer / Manager for a government contractor for 9 years at a huge shipyard in Newport News, VA. I was happy working my way up the corporate ladder, until I wasn’t….
In 2020 I started working for the world’s worst boss – lying, manipulative, control freak – I’m sure you know the type. I was also newly single and going through some health issues. It was a lot of negatives and stresses at once. Feb 2021 I was feeling miserable, trapped, and cold. So I scheduled a weekend trip to Miami with 3 days notice. This was my first solo vacation to Miami and I decided to stay at a hostel, another first for me.
In that very short weekend, I met several awesome people, and my mood went from 0 to 100. I had no idea solo travel could be that amazing, and how invigorating hostels were for your soul. It was the medicine I didn’t know I needed.
Futile attempt
Unfortunately it wasn’t enough medicine. The very first day I went back to work, my mood immediately shifted back to zero when I had to interact with my boss again. I hated how much control she had over my mood, and I tried so hard to overcome it.
But I couldn’t do it. She literally sucked the life out of me, and not just me, our whole team was beaten down and miserable. She was so controlling I felt like I could barely breathe around her. The worst part was I felt like it was completely out of my control to change anything. I felt like a cornered dog, a caged wild animal, and I needed a way to escape.
That first week back I reflected on how amazingly happy I had been just days prior. I tried to understand how I could recreate that feeling, because it seemed like I was truly living in the moment and living my life!
That’s when I decided I would do a cross country road trip. I thought maybe I just needed more time exploring and traveling to feel happy again. I told my boss that in 1 week I was leaving for 3 weeks for personal / health reasons. The Shipyard isn’t a place that believes in mental health (obviously because they let that woman continue to ruin peoples’ lives and health). So I couldn’t actually say I needed a mental health break.
What I did about it
That next week I planned my cross country route – from Virginia Beach to the Grand Canyon and back.
I’ll never forget how nervous I was that morning I drove away from my 2 bedroom apartment in my little Ford Fiesta, packed to the brim with everything I thought I needed for 3 weeks of travel. However, those nerves quickly turned into a surreal trust in the world, after a series of small events that unfolded and honestly changed my life.
I’ll save the nitty gritty details for another post, but when I returned to Virginia Beach in April 2021, I returned a different person. To summarize as best as I can, there were SO many little to large ‘coincidental’ events that truly made me believe in something larger than life. Some strange magic that truly connects all life, and humans, together in some unseen web of mystery. It’s the place where happiness, passion, love, and dreams meet.
What I learned on my road trip
It was the best three weeks of my entire life, and it awoken in me some forgotten passion for living. Here’s what I realized:
- People (including me at the time) have WAY too many ‘things’. After living off of only what I fit into my car, and realizing I packed too much, I suddenly felt weighed down by my two bedroom apartment packed with furniture and more stuff. If I could live 3 weeks without any of it, I didn’t need it, and it was stressful having it.
- I needed to change my career path. Over those three weeks I drove close to 5000 miles. 95% of my time driving I listened to a single podcast, which is unheard of for me. I usually switch from music, to books, to podcasts, to silence, to calling friends. I was so obsessed with this podcast it was too hard to ignore how passionate about it I was. (I’m sure you’re wondering what the podcast was… it was The Cabral Concept). Because of my recent health issues, I started exploring non-conventional, holistic health because modern medicine was NO help to me. Anyways, something in me clicked that my current job was the complete, and total opposite of what I was truly passionate about. I started thinking about what I could do to start working in alignment with my passion. And then the answer literally fell in my lap. One of the podcast episodes talked about a certification they offer to be trained as a health coach. I could feel in my soul it was something I needed to do. I thought I could start a side business doing Health Coaching, and see where it took me. When I got to my next destination, I signed up!
- There is no such thing as a coincidence. During those 3 weeks I stayed in other hostels or shared-space AirBnBs when I wasn’t camping. Nashville, New Orleans, Austin, Albuquerque, Phoenix, & St. Louis. At each place I only stayed between 1 – 3 nights, however at each place I met the most amazing people! Each person I met was quite different from me, but I felt such a strange and immediate connection with them. We became immediate friends, but with a more intimate and genuine connection than some friends I had known for years!
- Each person had their own interesting life story that I related to so well. I felt like I was able to teach them something important too. It was like life purposely threw us together on the same path, and it was deeply meaningful to us both.
- Several of the people I met on that journey thanked me for helping them. It was a heart-warming feeling knowing I could have an impression on someone after such a short time with them. The lesson they all taught me, there are no coincidences. ‘Coincidences’ are life’s way of telling us we’re on the right track, and doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
- Fear is just life waiting to happen. During the road trip I faced several fears head on. I realized that fears just stand in our way of truly living life. Many people glide through life, not challenging themselves, not questioning anything, going along with the norms and what society deems acceptable. That’s all complete nonsense. “Aren’t you worried about traveling alone as a female?”. “Aren’t you worried about getting COVID?”. “Aren’t you worried about someone breaking into your car?”… etc, etc. I got so many questions like that, and the answer was “NO I’m not!”. And for the fears I actually did have, like what happens if my car breaks down? I gained a trust that I would figure it out. And actually, within my first 3 hours I got a flat tire outside of Charlottesville. I figured it out, I was fine, I was more than fine. I was amazing, nothing bad happened, and I had thee most incredible experience. If you let the ‘what-ifs’ constantly get in your way, you will not truly live your life.
Realizations and next steps
Before I finished the road trip, I decided to figure out a way to continue traveling. Here’s what I chose to do next, basically over night:
- Give up my 2-bedroom apartment to save money
- Move in with a friend so I was no longer in a lease
- Sell half of my possessions to only what fit in a bed room
- Start applying for fully remote jobs
Since those decisions were made, I never looked back. Since April 2021 I started slowly making steps towards the direction of long term travel. The memories of that road trip fueled my passion to keep going. Regardless of how scared and anxious I was at times, it was my motivation.
And here I am,… I finally made my dreams a reality, and the next phase of my adventures have just begun!!
If you want to read about the first few months of my journey – check out the links on my homepage!
There is no secret to life. Your heart knows where to find happiness, you just need to listen to it.
Me
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