Mindful in Missouri Meadows

The absence of being mindful lead to frustrations but also a new friend.

Have you ever felt like you let out a breath of air you didn’t realize you were holding? That’s exactly how I felt when I finished setting up my Basecamp in Perryville, Missouri. Something about the air felt lighter and relaxing, and I could tell it was going to be a great week. When I pulled into my site, I got a glimpse of a large, new looking pool that was calling my name when I finished setting up. Jumping in and cooling off in the 9′ deep salt water pool relaxed me even more that evening.

The Perryville RV Park is covered with tall, beautiful trees, and borders thick woods on three sides. My site had a view of water again. This time a small pond that forms a layer of mist in the mornings as the sun rises above it. Within the thick woods, there’s an entrance to a top-notch hiking trail. Paths fully covered overhead with trees, trails littered with roots, sporadic wooden bridges, and a shallow lake in the center of it. The trail has a few cut-throughs that lead to the water’s edge, displaying a perfect view of the sunset in the evenings.

My Hour of Panic

My work week was exceptionally busy because I was being trained to take over for someone who left the company, while still doing my normal job. One day after a few hours of being on the phone, I had some time to take a lunch and a breather. In that moment of recollecting my awareness, I realized I had closed Pumpkin outside! I let her out in the morning and had to close the door to block out the noise for my meetings, and since I was so in the zone, I forgot she was outside.

Before I started searching for her, I checked under the bed to see if I just forgot that I let her in. I was so in the zone I couldn’t remember. I didn’t see her little head under there, so I shook her bag of food because she always comes running for that. When she didn’t come running, my heart sank, and my search began.

First, I went to my next door neighbor and asked if they saw a cat roaming around. As I walked up to them, there were two kids outside playing. One was around 8 or 9 and the other a toddler. The older of the two said he saw a fat cat at my door but didn’t see where it went. He then offered to ride around on his bike and help me look for her – which I gladly accepted.

Frustrations

Over the next hour, I walked around the entire RV site, 3 times. Looking under every RV, every cabins’ nooks and crannies, every water pipe and drain, every edge of the wood, and even into the woods. Yelling her name and shaking her food, hoping she’d hear me. I talked to every worker on site and a few campers; there were only about a dozen occupied spaces at the time. The 8-year old boy, Ethan, helped me search for her, and although he didn’t know it, he helped me from breaking down in tears.

The longer I was searching, the more my mind was racing.

“I can’t believe you locked her out!”

“She’s probably suffering in the heat and scared to death!”

“She’s probably lost in the woods somewhere, alone and afraid”.

“You’re never going to find her, and you’re going to have to leave her behind”

“She won’t be snuggled up on your bed tonight, and you’ll have to continue traveling without her” 💔

After my third lap around the park I headed back inside because I couldn’t hold myself together anymore and I had more work to do. As I was logging back onto my computer, I heard the bell on Pumpkin’s collar and couldn’t believe my ears. I looked down, and there she was, walking out from underneath the bed. Immediately I scooped her up, squeezed her tight, and then balled my eyes out.

I felt so relieved to see her! Still heartbroken at the thought of something terrible happening to her, all because of my absent-minded distractedness. She was there the entire time, and I wouldn’t have gone through that hour of distress if I had been present, and in the moment.

I realized a few things from this experience:

1. I didn’t know just how much I loved Pumpkin until I thought I had to continue my journey without my co-pilot.
2. The effects of not being mindful and in the present moment are far reaching.

Time to dive in a little deeper..

It’s easy to take things and people for granted until you lose them, or in my case, think you lose them. One of the biggest complaints people have in relationships and marriages is not feeling valued enough and taken for granted. You can apply this concept to other major areas of life, like health, freedom, and finances.

It’s not until we get sick or injured that we really value our health and ability to be active, pain free, or disease free. It’s not until we’re threatened with lockdowns or shitty politics, that we recognize how important our freedom is.

In those moments of loss, or potential loss, we vow to love a little harder, live a little bolder, and stand up stronger for our beliefs. But why does it take a tragic situation for us to realize how much we value something? How do we live each day as if the person or thing won’t be there tomorrow?

No one is promised tomorrow, and there are no guarantees in life. I think the best we can do is practice daily gratitude – for our health, our friends and family, our freedoms, our jobs, our pets, our lives! There are soooo many things to be grateful for each and every day. Instead of focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives and you’ll be a MUCH happier person because of it. And when the time comes that you go through some loss, because it’s bound to happen, at least you’ll have the solace of knowing that you fully cherished what was important to you.

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The importance of being mindful

Have you ever heard the phrase..

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. 
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

It’s something I came across when I started learning about mindfulness and meditation. It’s a simple but powerful concept, and I think it really holds true. However, I also think it goes way beyond just depression and anxiety when you aren’t living in the present.

The way I think of it is when someone is distracted and not focused on whatever they’re currently doing – chores to conversations, and everything in between. There are endless consequences of not being in the moment, and my hour of panic reminded me of that.

Such as, being overly lost in thought that you run a red-light, almost causing a car accident. Or being so caught up in worry about something that hasn’t happened, you forgot to pick up your preschooler from school? These things happen all the time, can be catastrophic, but are 100% avoidable. People cause themselves headache and heartache by simply being distracted by past or future events. Letting the now moment get away from them.

Worrying about things that haven’t happened isn’t productive, and being stuck in a past memory isn’t going to change it. When learning and practicing mindfulness, I started to pick up on my thought patterns and mental rabbit holes that led to negative feelings. I’m not saying I’m conscious 100% of the time, but I more quickly recognize when I’m straying. Realizing how it’s making me feel and why, and understanding how to redirect my thoughts to feel better.

Bottom line, we control our thoughts. Thoughts control our feelings. Start paying attention to your thoughts – don’t let them get away from you. Don’t talk negatively to or about yourself, even jokingly, and change the tone to a positive one. Awareness is such an understated topic!

An Unexpected Friend

After realizing that Pumpkin was safe and sound, Ethan, my neighbor friend, came back to check on her. I soon found out what a little storyteller Ethan was. He told me about 6 different cats he knew back home. Shadow, a big black cat, another cat with purple eyes, and one who died from a snake bite. At least half the stories were true 🤣.

He wasn’t a shy kid, but for some reason he and I just became natural pals. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been around little people since I haven’t spent much time with my family these past 9 years. I sort of forgot how to talk and interact with them. For example… at what age do you talk to them like an adult versus how you talk to a baby or pet? LOL Kids are really so alien to me, but Ethan felt like the little brother I never had.

He reminded me how pure hearted and nonjudgmental children can be – how all people were at some point in life. You can let your social guard down around them and just be yourself! It’s a freeing experience to be a kid again, even for just a short time.

Feeling like a kid again

That week we jumped on the big jump pad, performing tumble sets and front flips. We climbed into the jungle gym and slid down the slides. I didn’t think I’d be able to fit, but I did! Then we walked around the park, telling stories and ‘shootin’ the shit’ like old pals do. He even asked his Mom if I could come over for a burger. She was sweet as pie with an adorable country accent, and validated some of Ethan’s stories about the cats.

Side Note: Try to imagine adults as just being big children, instead of them being little people. It makes you more understanding when someone is acting out, because strangely, deep down, they are experiencing the same feelings as they did as children, & you can relate.

At the end of the week, I realized I met my first friend on my travels – an unlikely 8 year old. All because of a fortunate unfortunate experience with not being mindful… _{another example of good coming out of a bad experience}

The biggest achievement in life is learning to be unapologetically and genuinely yourself.

Me